


The Story He Told Himself

by Rosawyn



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Adoption, Brother Feels, Deception, Dysfunctional Family, Family Drama, Gen, I mean this is Loki after all, Introspection, Lies, Loki Feels, Loki Has Issues, Love/Hate, Sibling Love, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-28
Updated: 2014-01-28
Packaged: 2018-01-10 09:52:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1158214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosawyn/pseuds/Rosawyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'When he was lonely, or cold, or sad—and perhaps that was all the time, now—Loki would play the story over again in his mind, reminding himself of the way it had felt back when he'd truly believed it.'</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Story He Told Himself

It was such a beautiful story, the love of Thor for his brother. Sometimes Loki liked to remind himself of it, finding comfort in its familiarity and its poetic quality. When he was lonely, or cold, or sad—and perhaps that was all the time, now—Loki would play the story over again in his mind, reminding himself of the way it had felt back when he'd truly believed it. Back before the cruelty of reality had pressed itself unavoidably onto his awareness. It had been a curious, many-edged thing, the story, as it slowly shattered within his soul.

Love, it turned out, was a far more rare and anguished thing than he'd ever imagined.

Of course, Frigga had loved him. That much Loki knew with certainty; that was never just a story, comforting or otherwise. Her being his mother was a story, yet her love was real. But Frigga loved so generously—Frigga even loved _Odin_.

It had been like a slap, like falling quite unexpectedly face-first into snow, when Loki realized he had never loved his father—his _adoptive_ father, the self-proclaimed 'All-Father', the man who lied to him more skillfully than he'd ever guessed possible. Loki had fought so long and so hard to earn Odin's approval, to earn his love. Even going so far as to arrange an elaborate attempt on his biological father's life to prove his loyalty and worth to the man who'd collected him as yet another diverting item in his ever-expanding trove of exotic artifacts.

That was a story too, of course: the terrifying attack on the All-Father—vulnerable in his Odinsleep—by the treacherous Laufey, and the heroic rescue in the last possible moment by the dutiful son of Odin. The son who stayed and accepted the burden of responsibility with reverence and wisdom while the other was cast out in disgrace. At the time, it had felt like such a well-crafted story, but now it tasted bitter in his mouth.

For all the famed silver of Loki's tongue, it seemed perhaps Thor told a better story. One where he loved his brother unconditionally. One where they'd always fight alongside each other through countless adventures, ever victorious. One where they were happy, where Loki could make Thor laugh with a witty remark, and where he felt...if not as though he belonged in Asgard, at least as though he belonged with his brother. And sometimes it seemed as though Thor himself was still holding on to that part of the story, far less willing than Loki to admit the truth.

But perhaps...perhaps Loki's bitter mind was correct when it whispered that this, too, had been Loki's story all along, the story he told himself about his brother's love. The story that felt warm and right and good—lulling him to sleep at night and chasing away his nightmares.

It had always been his favourite, back when he believed it.

Perhaps it was the best lie he'd ever told.


End file.
